Rough Weeks

If I were one to lie, I would say that this week has been pretty smooth sailing.

Unfortunately, I don't like lying, even if it means coming clean about the fact that I've spent more time this week crying than not.

I've got a lot on my plate, and I don't get a day off. My day to day schedule looks like this:

-Wake up and take Bear to preschool

-Do homework while Sper eats breakfast and plays 

-Pick Bear up from preschool

-Lunch and playtime with the boys

-On Wednesdays, nap time is pushed back a couple of hours so that the boys can go to speech and occupational therapy

-During nap time, I clean and, if my homework is all caught up, I work on orders and talk to Husband on Skype 

-After naps, the boys get to watch a show while I get dinner ready and clean

-Dinner, baths, and more cleaning or homework

-After the boys are down for the night, I work on orders and finish any homework I have

-Fridays are a bit better, since Bear doesn't have preschool, but I do have to take them to therapy still

All of this, with errands and shopping and appointments mixed in. The weekends are best because I don't have to go anywhere.

With all of this, I'm surprised that I haven't broken down before now. But I did. I ended up calling Husband at midnight my time crying. 

I've been so incredibly blessed this deployment. I get to talk to my husband almost everyday, schedules are mostly  predictable, I'm able to go to school, and my business has been picking up. No one has been seriously sick or injured since we came home from Utah, and my boys are angels (they're toddlers, though). 

Sometimes it gets to be too much. I wonder if I've taken on too many projects, if I need to cancel some appointments, extend production time. I've actually stepped back from a few things because the thought of doing that, too, has sent me into a full-fledged panic attack.

I'm so thankful that I have such a good support system of friends and family that I can talk to when it gets to be too much. I even have a place to escape to when I need a façade of me time. Everyone needs someone to support them, even in the tiniest ways. It really is a good thing.