Vacation

A lot of stuff has happened in the last month.

• I put the shop on vacation.
• I finished my first semester of college.
• Bear had his very first last day of school.
• So many appointments.
• Husband came home for two weeks of R&R.

Back in May, I had a sale over on my Instagram account that didn't go over so well. A lot of paintings were posted at a discount, and only a handful of people bought anything. I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't bum me out, because it did. But I also learned a lot from it.

After the sale, I put the shop on a very much needed vacation. I was getting burned out, so I took a break. I'm really glad I did, because I have had the opportunity to fine tune some designs and practice some other things.

The shop is opening back up this week, and I'm really excited about it. I've opened an account over on Society6 to sell some of my designs, and they'll be available as shirts, coffee mugs, and even shower curtains, if you're feeling quirky enough.

I've also made changes to the way custom paintings are ordered, in an effort to make things a bit more streamlined. I love the way that Etsy has added little options in the listing, and it will really help me be a bit more organized.

Also in May, I finished my first semester of college. Between January and May, I took 6 classes. Out of all of them, my lowest grade was a B. I'm so proud of myself for following my dreams, even though some days all I want to do is cry from the stress. I'm taking one class during the summer semester to give myself a bit of a break, and I'll go back up to my normal amount in September. I'm hoping that by taking an extra class or two during the summer semesters, I'll be able to finish up my Associate's degree a bit early, but only time will tell.

Bear also had his very first last day of school. He has learned so much since starting preschool back in January, and I cannot be any more proud of him. He has the sweetest little personality. He's done with school until late August/early September, but he and Sper still have speech and occupational therapy twice a week.

 We have also (finally) got the ball rolling on ABA therapy for Bear. ABA is an in-home behavioral therapy that is very common for children with Autism to have. It helps with dealing with stress, changes in plans and environment, and other everyday things. We are very excited to be doing this, as we've waited over a year to hear back from our case workers.

Sper has been going to the audiologist once a month since for the last 6 months. There are some anomalies in his middle ear that may be affecting his hearing. It's really hard to tell, though, because every time we go in to get his hearing tested, he ends up screaming and fighting with the audiologist. We have to figure out some plans for Bear and then get an ABR test for Sper, and hopefully then we will know for sure what we will have to do from there.

We also had Husband home for two weeks for R&R (Rest and Relaxation). He got to come home because his deployment is longer than the average deployment. It was so nice to have him home. I loved having the extra hands to help with the house and the boys and the appointments. We arranged his R&R so that he would be home for our 5th anniversary.

 

We went to the Oceanside Pier, ate lunch at Ruby's Diner, went to the Mechanized Museum on base, watched movies at home and at the theater, went on walks, played games, visited the stables and saw ponies, and generally enjoyed having him home.

 

The biggest and coolest thing we did, though, was go down to San Diego and get tattoos. They are written in Elder Futhark, the runes that the Norse/Viking people used to write with. It reads "Come What May," which have been the words that we as a couple and a family have lived by basically since we met. (We got the words from the film "Moulin Rouge!" And here.) We have plans to make it a larger piece on each of our arms, each with meaning for us individually and as a couple.

We took him back to the airport last week. It's been rough readjusting to having him gone. Lots of tantrums, trouble sleeping, and all-around grumpiness has been had by all. But we've passed milestones in this deployment. Once things get busy again for us, the time will fly and then we'll be welcoming him home for good. (Well, not for GOOD good. But he'll be home for a while.)

I can't wait have him home, to get back to school full time, to have the shop open and selling again. I plan on taking full advantage of every opportunity I am given, and without everyone in my life being supportive and caring, I would not have them. Thank you!

100 Happy Days

Honesty time.

I suffer from clinical depression and PTSD. I am unmedicated. I'm managing and thriving most days, but sometimes I would rather stay in bed in my dark bedroom. When it gets like that, I have a hard time finding the good things about my day.

I've noticed on my Instagram feed the 100 Happy Days challenge: people listing one thing a day that makes them happy. 

After a particularly rough couple of months, I decided to join in. Even on the worst days, there has always been at least one thing that makes my day better, and finding something that helps me keep track of it is great.

100 Happy Days (http://www.100happydays.com) is a simple website where you sign up, customize your hashtag (or not), and they track your progress. 71% of people who started the challenge were unable to finish. My goal is to not only finish, but appreciate the things, both big and little, that make me happy.

Day 1: Got an issue with an order sorted out in under three hours, including a replacement shirt.

Day 2: My father-in-law sent me this picture of a baby Bear.

Day 3: My indoor garden is blooming. It's right above my kitchen sink, so I see it multiple times an hour.

Day 4: My boys are so amazing. Sper is learning so quickly, and constantly tells me that he loves me. Bear insisted that he was Elsa, wrapped a blanket around his waist, and sang "Let It Go" non-stop for three hours.

Day 5: I met Max Brooks and got him to sign two books for me and Husband. We are big-time zombie enthusiasts, so this was such an amazing opportunity. When I walked into the store, I didn't even know he was gonna be there. He snuck me in when no one was at the table, and told me he liked my shirt. 

I'm only 5 days in, and already this challenge has helped me out. Looking for this things, noticing them, has kept me a bit more optimistic throughout the day. I'm looking forward to see how the next 95 days make me happy. 

If you want to stay updated on my #100happydays challenge, be sure to check out my Instagram. (@bearandsper)

A Thankful Heart

November was a good month, all things considered. 

I remember last year that I did the 30 Days of Thankful challenge on Facebook. I remember feeling truly thankful for every single thing I posted, but I wondered why being thankful had to be limited to one month. 

This year, I decided to write this post. There is a never ending list of things I am thankful for every day, and a watered down FB status just didn't feel right.

I am thankful for my husband, without whom I would not be the person I am today. He is my biggest supporter in everything I do, he is my best friend, and he is the one person I know I can count on regardless of the situation.

We have been through so much in just 5 years; we have had our problems, and we have always overcome them. There is nobody I would rather have by my side in life. I honestly don't know what I would do without him. He is an amazing man, Marine, husband, and father.

I am also thankful for my baby boys. They are my little rays of sunshine. I know that no matter what, I just have to look at their little faces and my day will be instantly better.

Bear is my little geek-in-the-making. His enthusiasm for the things he loves is infectious. He has a hard time with a lot of things, but he is doing better everyday. His progress is so inspiring, and it is that progress that helps him be a carefree little preschooler at times. He starts preschool soon, and I can't wait to see how much further he comes. 

 

Sper is just a squishy little ball of love. He learns so much every day, and his excitement upon seeing me makes my heart swell. He is getting too big and it makes me sad that he is no longer my Tiny Boy, but I would rather he grow and learn and be healthy than keep him a tiny little newborn. 

I am thankful for my parents and my in-laws. They have done so much for me, have helped us out so much, and there are literally no words I can use to express how grateful I am for them. I am truly blessed to have them in our lives, and I am lucky to have such a good relationship with all of them.

I am thankful for Bear's therapists. Between his speech and occupational therapies, Bear has grown and learned so much this last year. Holli, Jen, Marilyn, Susan, Jenny, and Marissa have done so much for him. I know that things would be completely different for us if these six women had not been in his life.

I'm thankful for all of my siblings (in-laws included!). There are so many of them, and each one has had such an impact on my life. They have always been there, and I know that if I ever needed help, they'd be there for us, just as I hope they know that we'd be there for them.

Lastly, I am thankful for my friends. Whether I know you in real life or not, I love each and every single one of you. I know I'm not the best when it comes to communicating and staying in touch, but that never means that I'm not here if you need me. Every single one has a special place in my heart.

There are more things that I am thankful for, of course, but I feel like people are more important than things. I would still be me without my phone and computer, but I know that I would be at a loss without any single one of these people.

Thank you for everything.

Progress

In the six months that we have lived here in Oceanside, a lot of progress has been made, both with individually and in the family as a whole.

It's been rough, but we are pushing through everyday. I will never claim that our lives are difficult, but we do have our challenges. Little things add up and take their toll. But we stay positive, we choose happy, we rise above.

Bear starts preschool in less than a month. We are going to start working with him on separation and transitioning during work time (therapy). He talks more and uses his hands more efficiantly, we are working on soothing techniques and self-stimulation. He loves and looks forward to seeing his therapists, learns new words every single day, and is learning how to be more expressive. 

Sper walks now! He toddles everywhere, a bottle usually hanging out of his mouth. He loves eating, and can finger feed himself. He uses simple words like "baba," "ni-ni," "mama," "dada," "nana," can shake his head no when he doesn't want something, gives kisses, bonks heads, and loves playing with his toys. 

Husband and I are doing better, too, and are learning to handle our emotions better. We have our bad days like everyone else, and we are far from perfect, but we love each other, and that's what matters in the end. We had a date night this past weekend (we went and saw Thor: The Dark World) and it was an amazing two hours to ourselves. It was also the first movie we got to see in a theater in two years. (I am forever grateful for my parents and sister for keeping an eye on two very fussy babies.)

As for my personal progress, I feel like I am doing so much better everyday. I'm a very emotionally-driven person, and I know that shows a lot, but I'm trying to be less angry about things that upset me. I've learned to get mad, get over it, and move on. I'm bettering myself and rising above all of the negativity I see and experience, and it is such an amazing feeling.

Progress is an ongoing thing. There are always things to improve upon, and I will never stop.