100 Happy Days

Honesty time.

I suffer from clinical depression and PTSD. I am unmedicated. I'm managing and thriving most days, but sometimes I would rather stay in bed in my dark bedroom. When it gets like that, I have a hard time finding the good things about my day.

I've noticed on my Instagram feed the 100 Happy Days challenge: people listing one thing a day that makes them happy. 

After a particularly rough couple of months, I decided to join in. Even on the worst days, there has always been at least one thing that makes my day better, and finding something that helps me keep track of it is great.

100 Happy Days (http://www.100happydays.com) is a simple website where you sign up, customize your hashtag (or not), and they track your progress. 71% of people who started the challenge were unable to finish. My goal is to not only finish, but appreciate the things, both big and little, that make me happy.

Day 1: Got an issue with an order sorted out in under three hours, including a replacement shirt.

Day 2: My father-in-law sent me this picture of a baby Bear.

Day 3: My indoor garden is blooming. It's right above my kitchen sink, so I see it multiple times an hour.

Day 4: My boys are so amazing. Sper is learning so quickly, and constantly tells me that he loves me. Bear insisted that he was Elsa, wrapped a blanket around his waist, and sang "Let It Go" non-stop for three hours.

Day 5: I met Max Brooks and got him to sign two books for me and Husband. We are big-time zombie enthusiasts, so this was such an amazing opportunity. When I walked into the store, I didn't even know he was gonna be there. He snuck me in when no one was at the table, and told me he liked my shirt. 

I'm only 5 days in, and already this challenge has helped me out. Looking for this things, noticing them, has kept me a bit more optimistic throughout the day. I'm looking forward to see how the next 95 days make me happy. 

If you want to stay updated on my #100happydays challenge, be sure to check out my Instagram. (@bearandsper)

Good Things

Mondays suck. Like, they really suck.

I dread Mondays with the burning intensity of a thousand white boy suns. I've never had a good track record with sleeping, thanks to chronic insomnia and bad dreams, so Monday mornings are really hard for me. Waking up early to take Bear to school after tossing and turning for hours is a bad way to start the day, let alone the week.

So this morning I decided to start keeping track of the good things that happen to me on Mondays.

Some good things that have happened to me on this otherwise crappy Monday:

-My financial aid request got approved, which means I start my next three classes on March 31.

-I got a gorgeous piece of happy mail from Mandy of Mandipidy.

-The shirt I've been waiting for came today.

-I resisted the urge to stop in at Wendy's and grab a burger. I rewarded myself with coffee.

-I mailed off 2 custom orders.

-I'm married to this amazing, understanding man.

-I was told by a good friend that she is making me a gift!

-I captured this gorgeous sunset in photo.

-I get to take the night off and just relax.

So despite all of the things that make Monday bad, there are also things that make Monday good. I'm going to try and focus on that more often.

Make sure you check the goodthingsonmonday hashtag on Instagram, and tag the good things that happen to you!

Rough Weeks

If I were one to lie, I would say that this week has been pretty smooth sailing.

Unfortunately, I don't like lying, even if it means coming clean about the fact that I've spent more time this week crying than not.

I've got a lot on my plate, and I don't get a day off. My day to day schedule looks like this:

-Wake up and take Bear to preschool

-Do homework while Sper eats breakfast and plays 

-Pick Bear up from preschool

-Lunch and playtime with the boys

-On Wednesdays, nap time is pushed back a couple of hours so that the boys can go to speech and occupational therapy

-During nap time, I clean and, if my homework is all caught up, I work on orders and talk to Husband on Skype 

-After naps, the boys get to watch a show while I get dinner ready and clean

-Dinner, baths, and more cleaning or homework

-After the boys are down for the night, I work on orders and finish any homework I have

-Fridays are a bit better, since Bear doesn't have preschool, but I do have to take them to therapy still

All of this, with errands and shopping and appointments mixed in. The weekends are best because I don't have to go anywhere.

With all of this, I'm surprised that I haven't broken down before now. But I did. I ended up calling Husband at midnight my time crying. 

I've been so incredibly blessed this deployment. I get to talk to my husband almost everyday, schedules are mostly  predictable, I'm able to go to school, and my business has been picking up. No one has been seriously sick or injured since we came home from Utah, and my boys are angels (they're toddlers, though). 

Sometimes it gets to be too much. I wonder if I've taken on too many projects, if I need to cancel some appointments, extend production time. I've actually stepped back from a few things because the thought of doing that, too, has sent me into a full-fledged panic attack.

I'm so thankful that I have such a good support system of friends and family that I can talk to when it gets to be too much. I even have a place to escape to when I need a façade of me time. Everyone needs someone to support them, even in the tiniest ways. It really is a good thing.

Changes

In an attempt to unify all of my social media under one name, and to minimize the amount of social media accounts I have, I have decided to change the name of this blog.

Although I will still be posting our Life at 314 posts, I will be using this blog for my business. I am excited for this new venture, and all of the opportunities it has already brought to me and my family.

I have also updated all of my pages above, and they will lead you to everything I use, all with my new username: @bearandsper

Thank you for your support, everyone. It means more than you know.

Valentine

I don't know about you, but I've never really been a huge fan of Valentine's day. I always complained, sighed, groaned, and rolled my eyes when February rolled around.

Of course, that was before I met Tay. Our first "vday" together was nothing memorable. (I was 2 months pregnant and he was in school and working...I literally don't remember it.) Our second vday was spent apart, since he was in tech school in California while Bear and I were in South Carolina. From 3,000 miles away, Tay sent me the BIGGEST teddy bear I've ever seen, and I got super dressed up for myself. Bear and I went out shopping and got me some Starbucks, beginning a cute little tradition.

The next year was spent apart again, this time with Tay deployed. Bear and I (4 months pregnant this time) spent the day shopping and drinking Starbucks (he got hot cocoa) and had pizza for dinner. I got flowers from Tay that made me a hormonal mess.

Last year was nothing special. I took the boys for Starbucks/hot cocoa and shopping, and we ordered a pizza. (Or went out, I can't remember. Pizza was definitely involved.) Tay worked, but was home that night. It was a normal night. (I will admit I was upset that I didn't get a gift. For as much as I complain, it had become expected and anticipated.)

Vday this year has been awesome. As per tradition, I took the boys out for coffee and cocoa (not Starbucks this year because there is not a drive through in Oceanside) and shopping. I got a gorgeous necklace this year from Tay, as well as an amazing surprise when I got home. I got to Skype with him for a bit, too. 

I still dislike how commercial everything about vday is, and how much it's pushed. But I love having three amazing guys in my life to celebrate it with in our own unique ways.

(And, yes, I do get Tay something every year. He always gets a card and candy and something obnoxiously covered in glitter, as well as cheesy and slightly inappropriate vday cards on his facebook page. This year I got us matching tags for his keychain/my necklace.)

(Both my necklace and the tags are from Spiffing Jewelry.)

Art and Love

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook, then you might have seen that I've opened a shop to sell my paintings.

Thanks to Annie of Spiffing Jewelry, I have a decent (i.e GORGEOUS) banner, support, and advice. Annie has run her own successful business for over 5 years, and is such an amazing friend. 

I've dabbled in trying to run my own business before, and didn't really get anywhere. I now realize that, like anything in life, you have to give it your all, every single day, to make it work. That's what I'm doing with this.

I love art. Painting, photography, sculpting...these were my favorite classes in school. My art teacher inspired me to go to school for art, and that's what I'm doing now. I'm working on becoming an art teacher, and I hope I can inspire another student the way I was.

But I have a long way to go before I get there. Even so, I still want a way to share my passion with the world. That's where my shop comes in.

I love beautiful, unique works of art, and that's exactly what I offer. I paint each and every single piece of art by hand. I paint what I love, which includes geekery. I'm inspired by shows, movies, comics, books, and places I love or want to visit. The shop itself is named after my babies, two of the most important things in the world to me.

I hope everyone takes a moment to visit my shop, just to browse or buy or share. It would mean the world to me.

I've already gotten some attention on Twitter when an actor from one of my favorite shows (Battlestar Galactica) retweeted and commented on one of my paintings.

Needless to say, I freaked out a little bit.

Thank you all for everything.

Bear and Sper

#studentlife

As most of you know, I've started school! I'm taking online courses and working towards my Associates in Art & Humanities. After that, I hope to get my Bachelors in Education, and become an art teacher.

I've just got to say: textbooks are ridiculously expensive. Just to RENT 2 books cost me over $100 (special thanks to my mother-in-law for renting the third one). And that was the cheapest I found them. I had several people suggest different places, and I looked and compared prices. I just don't understand it.

But so far, I'm loving my classes. Right now I'm taking Art History, Art Appreciation, and Humanities Through the Arts. They are mostly self-paced classes with suggested dates to do things like quizzes and lesson reviews. Which is good, because I couldn't get my books for almost two weeks after classes started.

I wish I could have taken an actual art class (painting, drawing, sculpting, et cetera), but those had to be done in person, and I just don't have the time or gas money (or a babysitter) to fit all that in. 

I'm already trying to figure out what classes I'm going to take next semester. I'm leaning towards another Art History class, as well as an English and a Psychology class. We'll have to see, though.